Denial

“So you wanna go back to Egypt, where it’s warm and secure.

Are you sorry you bought the one way ticket when you thought you were sure?

You wanted to live in the land of promise, but now it’s getting so hard.

Are you sorry you’re out here in the desert, instead of your own backyard? “

This song by Keith Green wandered through my head last night as I once again came to the “de Nile” of my experience.  I continue to hang on to what isn’t happening in my life right now instead of realizing God is right smack in the middle of it.  Resting, relaxing, watching movies, eating snacks, feeling great laying, lazily in bed tricked my brain, once again, into thinking,” Ah, I’m all right now. “

So in my usual , just do it, way I attempt a short trip to the loo only to discover brain and body were not in sync!  Husband comes forward to act as my escort du jour’, gently reminding me that that’s why he’s here.

We see the specialist on Wednesday. It is a start.

Don’t laugh when I say out loud, “Weakness is not my strong suit!”

2 Corinthians 12 : 9… in the Message says, “

“My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” (Apostle Paul’s words)

This is my hope.  The real deal is when what you know in your head becomes what you know in you heart.